ScriptMother

To be eligible for Screenplay of the Month, your script needs at least 2 complete reviews within the last 57 days (May 1, 2019).

Visit your script profile to request a review.

June Screenplay of the Month Winners

Gravekeeper TV Series
Written By: Rindzler
Genre: Animation
Ungifted Feature
Written By: John Porter
Genre: Comedy,Drama

Nomineees for Next Month


Feature Film

Awaiting Nominees. Find out how to get nominated.

Television Series

Awaiting Nominees. Find out how to get nominated.

Short Film

Mister Short
Written By: Pablo Conseco Hernandez Diaz
Genre: Drama
PAURA Short
Written By: stilldark
Genre: Horror
The homies Short
Written By: Trashawn Davenport
Genre: Drama

In the Running

The following scripts are currently eligible for July Screenplay of the Month:

Feature Film

TV Series

Short Film

The homies
PAURA
Mister

Past Finalists

Title Written By Month
Gravekeeper TV Series Rindzler June - 2019
Ungifted Feature John Porter June - 2019
The Bench (working title suggestions welcome) Short Caleb Densman June - 2019
The Hobo (Draft 2) TV Series Michael White May - 2019
What We Did That Summer Feature Nick Romantini May - 2019
Man on the Phone Short Rakin Islam May - 2019
The Soft Green Claw Feature Esem Samuels April - 2019
HE IS HERE Short Tedd Luv April - 2019
Chicago Overcoat TV Series Abby LaMarre April - 2019
The Nökken Feature JoAnn Gartin March - 2019
Briarwood TV Series Abby LaMarre March - 2019
Bop Short Brent Woodroof March - 2019
What We Did That Summer Feature Nick Romantini February - 2019
Bop Short Brent Woodroof February - 2019
Lake Of Fire Draftf#4 Feature Anthony Silverwood January - 2019
Westphall TV Series Keith St. Lawrence January - 2019
SUNRISE Short Ronald Mathews January - 2019
Villain Feature Kat Bosworth December - 2018
Blind Ambition Short Renee Brown December - 2018
Jé Rouge Short Pablo Conseco Hernandez Diaz November - 2018
The Hobo TV Series Michael White November - 2018
Finding Milana Short Kyle Stout November - 2018
Bound by Blood Feature Esem Samuels October - 2018
Inner City Blues Feature Pablo Conseco Hernandez Diaz October - 2018
Internal Affairs TV Series Shawn Decker October - 2018

Subscribe to our Newsletter

* indicates required

8

scripts are currently available for peer-review. Claim one now to earn credits.

Claim Review

 

Top Reviewers


Member Rating

Pablo Conseco Hernandez Diaz
4
No. Reviews: 21

Caleb Densman
3
No. Reviews: 3

Newest Screewriters


See more...

Latest Reviews


The Devil Knocks at Night Short
Reviewed by: Sydney S
2.25

Nobody likes to get shoved with backstory in the first 10 pages. Nobody likes any pointless exposition. Show, not tell. Put yourself in my shoes. You're watching one of your favorite TV shows. You're enjoying the fight sequence. Finally, the main character throws up her finishing move... and instead of seeing what happens next, you're bogged with 30 seconds of pointless exposition about how said move works. That happened before to me, and I was PISSED. Why am I talking about my TV viewing experiences with you, you may ask? Well, your script suffers from the same problem as said show... you want something exciting, but exposition is thrown at your face, which decreases your enjoyment and your patience. If half your script is exposition, like the pages I read, than NOBODY - I mean NOBODY - would watch the whole thing. Time is something valuable, so you'd need to do something to GET viewers and readers to view/read for 49 pages... almost an hour. That hour can be spent in many different ways, and you need to beat around the bush and show your backstory, not tell it. Because if you tell it, than everyone will stop reading after page 7 or change the channel to something else. There's a lot of content out there right now, and if you want to tower above all the other things that are on TV or in the movies, you'll have to make an entertaining script that shows why we need to care about it. Because right now, you might be emotionally invested into it, but to an outsider, it's a bunch of bulls--t that makes negative 3000 sense. Nobody likes to get shoved with backstory in the first 10 pages. Nobody likes any pointless exposition. Show, not tell. Put yourself in my shoes. You're watching one of your favorite TV shows. You're enjoying the fight sequence. Finally, the main character throws up her finishing move... and instead of seeing what happens next, you're bogged with 30 seconds of pointless exposition about how said move works. That happened before to me, and I was PISSED. Why am I talking about my TV viewing experiences with you, you may ask? Well, your script suffers from the same problem as said show... you want something exciting, but exposition is thrown at your face, which decreases your enjoyment and your patience. If half your script is exposition, like the pages I read, than NOBODY - I mean NOBODY - would watch the whole thing. Time is something valuable, so you'd need to do something to GET viewers and readers to view/read for 49 pages... almost an hour. That hour can be spent in many different ways, and you need to beat around the bush and show your backstory, not tell it. Because if you tell it, than everyone will stop reading after page 7 or change the channel to something else. There's a lot of content out there right now, and if you want to tower above all the other things that are on TV or in the movies, you'll have to make an entertaining script that shows why we need to care about it. Because right now, you might be emotionally invested into it, but to an outsider, it's a bunch of bulls--t that makes negative 3000 sense.


Mister Short
Reviewed by: Sydney S
2

This was pretty interesting. I mean, that final twist was pretty great, but the rest of the script was pretty bland. The concept of a woman getting ready has been overdone- have you ever seen a “Get Ready With Me” YouTube video? That- in a nutshell- is your script. Before I write something, I try to think if it’s already been done a billion times. If it has, then I pretty much force myself to come up with an original spin on the concept. So, writer, how about instead of making it just her getting ready, you can maybe add some foreshadowing or hints of her personality around the video’s set. Nobody wants to watch a random person get ready if they can see a famous person do the same thing on YouTube unless it’s worth something- and even if you work on the concept and story, it probably won’t get into Sundance- maybe shoot for the local film festival. In conclusion, you’re a promising writer, but I think you should try something more ambitious next time instead of playing it safe. This was pretty interesting. I mean, that final twist was pretty great, but the rest of the script was pretty bland. The concept of a woman getting ready has been overdone- have you ever seen a “Get Ready With Me” YouTube video? That- in a nutshell- is your script. Before I write something, I try to think if it’s already been done a billion times. If it has, then I pretty much force myself to come up with an original spin on the concept. So, writer, how about instead of making it just her getting ready, you can maybe add some foreshadowing or hints of her personality around the video’s set. Nobody wants to watch a random person get ready if they can see a famous person do the same thing on YouTube unless it’s worth something- and even if you work on the concept and story, it probably won’t get into Sundance- maybe shoot for the local film festival. In conclusion, you’re a promising writer, but I think you should try something more ambitious next time instead of playing it safe. This was pretty interesting. I mean, that final twist was pretty great, but the rest of the script was pretty bland. The concept of a woman getting ready has been overdone- have you ever seen a “Get Ready With Me” YouTube video? That- in a nutshell- is your script. Before I write something, I try to think if it’s already been done a billion times. If it has, then I pretty much force myself to come up with an original spin on the concept. So, writer, how about instead of making it just her getting ready, you can maybe add some foreshadowing or hints of her personality around the video’s set. Nobody wants to watch a random person get ready if they can see a famous person do the same thing on YouTube unless it’s worth something- and even if you work on the concept and story, it probably won’t get into Sundance- maybe shoot for the local film festival. In conclusion, you’re a promising writer, but I think you should try something more ambitious next time instead of playing it safe. This was pretty interesting. I mean, that final twist was pretty great, but the rest of the script was pretty bland. The concept of a woman getting ready has been overdone- have you ever seen a “Get Ready With Me” YouTube video? That- in a nutshell- is your script. Before I write something, I try to think if it’s already been done a billion times. If it has, then I pretty much force myself to come up with an original spin on the concept. So, writer, how about instead of making it just her getting ready, you can maybe add some foreshadowing or hints of her personality around the video’s set. Nobody wants to watch a random person get ready if they can see a famous person do the same thing on YouTube unless it’s worth something- and even if you work on the concept and story, it probably won’t get into Sundance- maybe shoot for the local film festival. In conclusion, you’re a promising writer, but I think you should try something more ambitious next time instead of playing it safe.


Inner City Blues Feature
Reviewed by: Virginia Kane
2.5

Concept: Not good. A community haunted by drug addition, poverty or crime isn't something new to anyone. There are a few good movies that are based on the same concept, but things are a lot more intense than this. If you are going to write about a rough community, make it really rough. Otherwise it will appear like a documentation of reality and not a story meant to be a movie. Also set Trey's troubles to a higher level. He doesn't seem up against really big threats, that makes him not stand out like the main character is supposed to. Story: I don't know if you had actually thought out the whole story before beginning to write. The only part that captures one's attention is the first to pages. There is the promise for something big when we see Trey's body laying lifeless on pavement, having been shot by an unknown killer. That picked up my interest. I was hoping to find out all details leading up to the scene within the first ten to twenty pages. But instead, we got into what I think are unnecessary scenes that weren't actually connected to the last scene or intended to build up the plot. At some point I thought that maybe you were bringing up more and more scenes just to keep the story going and make the script a feature. Some scenes did help show us just what kind of a rough neighborhood Trey was coping up with, but a few scenes would have been enough, only the ones that are really intense, drop the rest. Does Trey have to meet with almost ten people before getting to his interview? Maybe it was important to some point, helps show the kind of person Trey is. But we shouldn't be meeting all of his buddies at this point. Just have him talk to one or two people, make the conversion interesting and short. Things are not intense, not even enough for a drama feature. People may talk roughly here and there. But that isn't all that drama is about. There is need for more action. Doesn't have to be fighting. Just give us scenes that one didn't expect, a surprise. Like you did with Moor's murder. But everything else seemed talk and walk, usual chat. STRUCTURE: I don't know exactly how to describe how I feel about this part. The scenes are in order, nothing is where it shouldn't. But this doesn't help keep the reader intrigued. The truth is, there are a lot of unnecessary scenes, dialogue. That bores the reader. Dialogue: You did good! There wasn't much humor, or statements that stir up emotions, but it was all very realistic. Your dialogue lasts way too long at every instance. Like we have already heard what was to be said but the characters just keeps talking when we expect to move on to a new scene. Characters: No character actually stood out. Josselyn's mother would have if she had more dialogue, but she didn't. Cece was good and interesting, liked her. Everyone else is simply realistic, not remarkable, but very realistic. Writer: I know this section isn't usually part of a review but I thought it necessary that I introduce it because I noted something about you that I don't encounter very often. That is a really good writer with the wrong story. When I read your script, I felt like I was reading something written by one of those professionals that already have their work produced. You write like a pro. That's what kept me hoping that the next page the story would get better. It didn't, but I still couldn't help noticing how neat your work is. It's like you have mastered all rules of scriptwriting, but didn't give much attention to what is really important, the story.