To be eligible for Screenplay of the Month, your script needs at least 2 complete reviews within the last 48 days (Feb 1, 2019).

Visit your script profile to request a review.

March Screenplay of the Month Winners

Briarwood TV Series
Written By: Abby LaMarre
Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Bop Short
Written By: Brent Woodroof
Genre: Comedy
The Nökken Feature
Written By: JoAnn Gartin
Genre: Horror

Nomineees for Next Month

Feature Film

Awaiting Nominees. Find out how to get nominated.

Television Series

Awaiting Nominees. Find out how to get nominated.

Short Film

Bloom Short
Written By: Lucy Owens
Genre: Drama
The Importance of Clowning Around Short
Written By: Jacob Smith
Genre: Comedy
Jed's End Short
Written By: Damian Rzymski
Genre: Thriller,Drama

In the Running

The following scripts are currently eligible for April Screenplay of the Month:

Past Finalists

Title Written By Month
The Nökken Feature JoAnn Gartin March - 2019
Briarwood TV Series Abby LaMarre March - 2019
Bop Short Brent Woodroof March - 2019
What We Did That Summer Feature Nick Romantini February - 2019
Bop Short Brent Woodroof February - 2019
Lake Of Fire Draftf#4 Feature Anthony Silverwood January - 2019
Westphall TV Series Keith St. Lawrence January - 2019
SUNRISE Short Ronald Mathews January - 2019
Villain Feature Kat Bosworth December - 2018
Blind Ambition Short Renee Brown December - 2018
Jé Rouge Short Pablo Conseco Hernandez Diaz November - 2018
The Hobo TV Series Michael White November - 2018
Finding Milana Short Kyle Stout November - 2018
Bound by Blood Feature Esem Samuels October - 2018
Southside Feature Pablo Conseco Hernandez Diaz October - 2018
Internal Affairs TV Series Shawn Decker October - 2018

Subscribe to our Newsletter

* indicates required


scripts are currently available for peer-review. Claim one now to earn credits.

Claim Review


Top Reviewers

Member Rating

Pablo Conseco Hernandez Diaz
No. Reviews: 21

Chukwuma Amobi
No. Reviews: 43

Damian Rzymski
No. Reviews: 11

Erez Bailen
No. Reviews: 1

Johana Rasoanindrainy
No. Reviews: 3

Newest Screewriters

See more...

Latest Reviews

Reviewed by: Tyler Stone

LOCKED IN A Play In One Act Written By: Tyler Stone CAST OF CHARACTERS Malcolm Burton: An arrogant academically advanced Teen who is best described as a wolf in sheep’s clothing Vinny Hopkins: Teen who is a conspiracy theory fanatic and also believes that the government is after him and all of those around him. Olivia Frazier: Teen who is believed to be physic but in reality is just one big con artist Bianca Knox: Teen who believes that she is better than everyone on the planet with a strong sense of fashion… and OCD Liam Wiley: Teen who struggles to manage his everyday life with his multiple personalities Jeanette Simmons: Feminist Teen who is sick of women always coming second to men and she is disgusted by the women around her who act “basic” Ray Pennington: Teen who is blind and is working towards his lifelong dream of becoming a musician Elaina Monroe: Over Dramatic Teen who will often cry to get out of any situation that doesn’t benefit her Tanner Kassidy: Teen who likes to hide and watch from afar, he is a “lone wolf” and his dark clothing makes him appear as a threat Gloria Zendria: Teen who strives to be one with the universe, she enjoys meditating and talking about people’s aura’s. Alicia Perkins: Teen with an extreme attitude who is always ready to fight anyone who she thinks is disrespecting her Locked In The play begins with a setting similar to a classroom with tables and chairs set up, and a whiteboard with writing on it as follows “What does Justice mean to you?” “Does the saying See Something Say Something give people the right to discriminate?” “Do you believe that there is equality in our world today?” The sound of a bell ringing is heard as MALCOLM enters onstage, looking around. MALCOLM Hello (look around) Is anyone here? (walks up to the teacher's desk) Oh, what have we got here? On the teacher's desk, there is a note MALCOLM picks up and proceeds to read the note out loud. MALCOLM (reading the note) My apologies. I had to run to my car to grab a few materials for class. Whoever finds this note please begin taking attendance until my return. (sets down the note and picks up attendance sheet) So let’s see who’s in this class. At the finish of the sentence there is a loud chaotic banging on the door MALCOLM stops reading and walks over to the door, looking hesitant to open it, but then he proceeds to do so. As he opens the door VINNY lunges at him making him stumble backwards and fall. He then grabs and twists his arm, staring very intensely at it. MALCOLM (struggling to pull arm away) Hey, I’d appreciate it if you’d give me my arm back. VINNY (still pulling MALCOLM’S arm) Wait I’ve just got to make sure that they haven’t gotten you I’m trying to protect you kid before it’s too late MALCOLM (Snatches arm away and looks at arm alarmingly) Make sure who hasn’t gotten me? VINNY The United States Government (walks behind the desk) they’ve been after me for the last year and a half stalking me and watching my every last move MALCOLM (getting up and walking towards Vinny) And why would they be doing that? VINNY They’re doing it because I’ve cracked the case on the moon landing, Area 51, and now I’m working on just how corrupt the legal system really is, from the racism to the payouts nobody really gets justice anymore, no one ever wins except the government, you see were all just little tiny chess pieces in their huge chess game you feel me? and they wanna stop me! (turns to Malcolm in a more happy manner) Oh how rude of me I’ve neglected to introduce myself (puts a hand out) I’m Vinny MALCOLM (shakes Vinny’s hand) Nice to meet you I’m Malcolm (grabs the note off the desk and hands it to Vinny) here the teacher left this note she’ll be back in a minute VINNY (reads the note and begins to look extremely worried) Oh no, Oh no, It’s too late for her they’ve taken her! MALCOLM Who has taken her? VINNY The United States Government, they’re coming after me and everyone else around me. MALCOLM Hey, let’s calm down (pull a chair up) here why don’t you sit down and take a deep breath, just relax. VINNY (sits down for a second then jump up in furry) Wait I see what you're trying to do you sneaky little agent, you’re trying to distract me aren’t you (gets up in anger) you’re gonna pay! At that moment there is a knock at the door but the door remains shut MALCOLM walks over to the door and opens it and RAY walks in. RAY I’m sorry to ask, but could someone please help me to a desk? VINNY runs over to assist him and leads him to a chair at the table where he sits. MALCOLM then props the door open with a trash can. RAY Thank you whoever you are. It really means a lot. VINNY No problem and I’m Vinny, Vinny Hopkins self-proclaimed genius wanted by the united states government RAY Thank you, Vinny and I’m Ray Pennington and I’m a blind musician. Hey, sorry if I’ve been any inconvenience. VINNY Oh stop your fine Ray RAY No, I gotta make it up to you. What kind of music do you like? Maybe I can sing you a song. VINNY That won’t be needed now, let’s call it an I O U maybe when I get sworn in as president you can sing the national anthem RAY Really? Awesome. So I’m fine? MALCOLM Yeah your fine and by the way, the teacher will be back in only a minute, hey where’s your aide RAY She told me that she had to run to the office, so she led me to the door. She said she’d be back in only a minute. VINNY Two adult authority figures mysteriously went missing in a class that I was selected to try out coincidence I think not RAY Oh no! What’s going on? MALCOLM Okay guys relax, they’ll both be back in a minute, Ray you like music right, why don’t you guys talk about music RAY Oh yeah, Hey Vinny, have you ever heard of the pentatonix? They’re the acapella group. VINNY I sure have, did you know that the government tampers with their music and puts mind controlling ultrasound waves so that they can easily make us mindless zombies RAY Oh no. It can’t be. They’re my favorite group. Why would they do that? MALCOLM Okay guys let’s talk about something else and Vinny please stop with the crazy theories VINNY Malcolm you can’t stop me from speaking the truth it’s my right MALCOLM Vinny I just asked you to- BIANCA enters with a disgusted look on her face, VINNY mocks BIANCA as she passes. BIANCA (looking at Vinny) Oh, when did they let you out of the hospital? I mean I’m gonna need to see that they actually discharged you because I don’t feel safe around you VINNY (disgusted) You’ll never change, will you? You’ll always just be nothing more than a two-faced- BIANCA I think Queen is the word you’re looking for (looks Vinny up and down) My god who in their right mind let you walk out of the house like that. VINNY (laughing) Bianca, I’m not crazy I can do things for myself, you're just afraid of me because I’m not like you, in fact, I’d say I’m smarter BIANCA Oh sis, you're not crazy? (opens book bag and pulls out paper) then what’s this Vinny, it’s on file so you can’t deny and I’m warning you if you try to test me I’ll go file another incident report on you VINNY snatches up the paper and crumbles it into a ball. The two then get into an intense staredown and then MALCOLM gets between them trying to separate the two. MALCOLM Hey guys let’s not do something we’re gonna regret BIANCA Oh don’t worry, I don’t waste my time on peasants BIANCA then goes on her phone and begins taking selfies. OLIVIA makes a grand entrance and the three turn to look. OLIVIA Ladies and Gentlemen, It is I the one the only the psychic Olivia, and please no pictures until the end of class OLIVIA then snatches the phone out of BIANCA’S hand. BIANCA You imbecile what do you think you're doing, give me my phone back OLIVIA Sweetie, I said no pics until the end BIANCA (Laughing) Oh my god do you actually think that I would take a picture of you (snatches phone back) that’s the funniest joke I’ve heard all day OLIVIA But I’m a psychic RAY Whoa did you say psychic? OLIVIA Yes I sure did buddy would you like a reading RAY Hecks yeah I would. OLIVIA (closes eyes and rubs sides of her head) okay I can see that your name is Ray, am I correct RAY Yes OLIVIA Okay and I’m suspecting that you are seventeen and blind RAY Whoa. How do you know all of this? OLIVIA It’s all just coming to me would you like to see into your future RAY That would be amazing if it’s not too much trouble on yourself of course. OLIVIA Oh no it’s all fine, (slowly) Okay I’m seeing that you grow old and live a long life and that you will make a huge sum of money off of being a musician RAY Oh my gosh. How awesome. I’m actually gonna make my dreams come true. Thank you Olivia, it means a lot. OLIVIA (opens eyes) Okay now for the payment would you like to pay with cash, card or digital payment RAY Oh um I didn’t know that I needed to pay. Do you think that you could wait until Miss Carla comes back? She has my wallet. MALCOLM Whoa hold on, when you offered him the reading you never said anything about payment VINNY Yeah, and your reading wasn’t that- OLIVIA Okay you know what Ray we’ll just call it an I O U then you can pay me back once you’re all rich and famous RAY Okay awesome thanks bro (holds out a hand for fistbump) OLIVIA doesn’t see RAY attempting to fistbump him and then GLORIA enters and looks around the classroom, she spots BIANCA holding a handbag and she freaks out and runs over to her in panic. GLORIA (freaking out) You disgusting homo sapien do you know how many precious animals were slaughtered to make that bag BIANCA I really don’t care. I mean if I’m gonna have the looks to die for I guess someone or something is gonna have to die along the way GLORIA You're heartless, do you have no sympathy in your dark, dark heart BIANCA Wait let me check (pauses for a moment) nope. (gesturing Gloria away) Thank you, (looks around the classroom in a questioning manner) next? GLORIA goes to walk to the back of the classroom but then she stops and turns towards MALCOLM. GLORIA Oh no MALCOLM (confused) What GLORIA (shakes head) It’s your aura, it’s so dark, almost like it’s pure evil MALCOLM (laughing) What does that mean, anyone who knows me knows that I am a really nice guy GLORIA I don’t know, all I can sense is complete darkness around you BIANCA I sense a complete psycho next to me MALCOLM Well uh (pauses for a moment) Well it’s just life has been a lot lately you know um I’ve been stressing over grades and getting ready for college and I’ll admit it I’ve done some messed up things recently, like copying math homework but I swear, I never meant for any harm to be done, I was just tired the night before and I didn’t want to get a zero that’s all OLIVIA Wait, my psychic powers are telling me that… he’s telling the truth (laughing) oh well Gloria guess your aura sensing is wrong GLORIA I will have you know that I have never been wrong about someone’s aura you all should know that Malcolm is- GLORIA is cut off by an entering LIAM he comes in and walks up to BIANCA. LIAM (in the Joe persona) Hey baby, me you the street’s of new york all ya gotta say is yes and then we’re outta here BIANCA Get away from me now LIAM C’mon what’s a beautiful jewel-like ya self-doing out here without a man for protection BIANCA (absolutely disgusted) Are really trying catcalling me to my face (slaps Liam in the face) You disgusting pig LIAM (staggers backwards) Hey, what was that for, do you know who I am, I am Joe Valenti one of the most high ranking members of the mafia and for you to slap me in the face well I oughta (shakes head and go to back to normal) What… what was I talking about BIANCA You were just telling me how you're in the mafia and how you can have me killed because you’re “Joe Valenti” LIAM Oh no (rubs head) I truly am sorry, you see my name is Liam and I have multiple personalities, five of them including myself, there’s Arnold who’s an old grump, Joe who you just met, Philip who is an extreme germaphobe, and then the worst of them all Brock who is a Sgt. General from Vietnam VINNY Well it sounds to me like you’ve got an interesting little life, too interesting (puts out hand)I’m Vinny LIAM Nice to meet you Vinny (touches face) why does my face hurt so much VINNY (laughs) Well let’s just say Mr. Joe and Bianca may have had a slight physical altercation LIAM (alarmed) oh no he didn’t hit her, did he? BIANCA No, it was more like I slapped him for catcalling me Just as BIANCA finishes her sentence the late bell rings ELAINA enters and moans loudly with her head down. ELAINA (overly dramatic) I literally didn’t ask to be in this class my guidance counselor forced me in here and I came all the way from the G wing and I had to take the long way to my locker so I could put my gym clothes away, so you might as well write me up now and send me to ace (looks up) um where’s the teacher RAY She said that she had to run out to her car. VINNY She’s been captured by the government because of her connection to me OLIVIA Vinny, what do you mean? VINNY I’m trying to tell all of you that the government is after me and all those around me, we’re all in grave danger BIANCA Don’t listen to him (pull another paper out of the folder) See he’s on file for being crazy VINNY That’s what you think BIANCA No sweetie it’s what I know ELAINA Ugh I don’t know why they put me in this class, I literally applied for senior release BIANCA (excited) Oh my gosh Elaina I didn’t know you were in this class ELAINA Yeah I am unfortunately BIANCA I’m just excited that someone in this class actually has the same taste of fashion as me ELAINA Oh yes and is the teacher really gone or- MALCOLM No, she just had some unfinished business that she had to deal with ELAINA Oh my gosh I literally hate this school and my life BIANCA and ELAINA walk to the back of the classroom and sit by GLORIA and begin talking indistinctly. MALCOLM (grabs attendance sheet off the desk) well, it looks like we only have two more people missing Tanner and- JEANETTE enters and approaches MALCOLM with a pass in hand. JEANETTE (hands Malcolm the pass) I’m not late see I have a pass MALCOLM Oh I’m not the teacher, I was just taking the attendance like she had asked JEANETTE (Snatches the pass back) Oh then I was on time, and I’ll be keeping this MALCOLM I wasn’t gonna mark you late anyway the teacher isn’t here so technically you’re on time ALICIA enters and she is angrily talking on the phone, and everyone stares at her. ALICIA (speaking loudly) and why would I do that, please explain to me why you know what you aren’t worth my time (hangs up phone) What are you all staring at? BIANCA Oh believe me nothing much, Alicia but you did scare them when you came in here acting like a buffoon ALICIA (shocked) Excuse me, do you know who I am! BIANCA Oh yes, someone…. Below me like the rest of the people in the school ALICIA Okay now you wanna act all big and bad (pulls out hair tie) c’mon we can go and get it right here and just so you know I’m undefeated BIANCA (sarcastically) oh, that’s cute, what are you 0-0? ALICIA No sweetie, I’ 5-0 and I’ve fought girls twice your size, you’ll be light work BIANCA (with an evil smile) oh did you say work, (pulls out phone) because I’m pretty sure that your mom works for my dad and you wouldn’t wanna make daddy’s little princess upset, would you? ALICIA Oh sweetie I’ll do a lot more than make you upset ALICIA lunges at BIANCA and she grabs her by the hair and begins swinging VINNY tries to break them up by ALICIA pushes him out of the way and she continues swinging, then it take four of the teens to get ALICIA off of her. ALICIA That's the difference between you and I, I’m the queen of talking shit then I’m backin it up BIANCA That’s why you’ll always be a second class citizen, real women don’t fight (blows a kiss to Alicia) MALCOLM Okay now that everyone is calmed down (looks back at sheet) has anyone seen Tanner Kassidy- TANNER suddenly enters wearing all black and he looks almost demonic as he speaks to MALCOLM. TANNER I swear if you write me up I will end you MALCOLM Okay then I’m guessing your Tanner TANNER Yes I am is there a problem MALCOLM No, there’s no problem at all TANNER Good and there won’t be a problem if you stay out of my way LIAM (in the Arnold persona) aye son if you would’ve said something to me like that back in my golden days I would’ve dragged you all over this classroom TANNER If a fight is what you desire I can easily put you out of your misery GLORIA runs over and shields LIAM from TANNER. GLORIA You lay a single finger on him and I swear I’ll break every bone in your body LIAM Yeah what she said freak boy, she’ll break every bone in your body TANNER Your a tiny little girl who I can easily deal with This catches the attention of JEANETTE who runs over to put herself in front of GLORIA. JEANETTE Oh who says little girls can’t do anything, I’ll have you lying flat on your back in the next two point five seconds if you come an inch closer OLIVIA now walks over and grabs TANNER by the shoulder. OLIVIA Ooh I’m getting a reading now, it says that your future looks like you getting your ass kicked by two (smiling at Jeanette) Strong and powerful females and myself, and ya know I’m always here if backup is needed, which I don’t think will be necessary RAY Things are getting spicy in here. TANNER Shut it, kid, why don’t you go and read a book or something JEANETTE makes the most disgusted face, then with amazing force, she slaps TANNER in the face making him fall to the floor. ALICIA (Holding phone out to record) WORLDSTAR! JEANETTE One more Ignorant comment out of you and you’ll receive much more than a slap MALCOLM I have an idea MALCOLM then walks over to the whiteboard. MALCOLM Hey guys while we wait on her to get back why don’t we just start discussing some of the topics on the board (looks at the board quickly) here let’s do this one, “Do you believe there is equality in our world today” JEANETTE Absolutely not, White men in this world are still getting paid way more than men of color and women. Whether we like it or not there is still racism, sexism, and discrimination in general and that’s why we all need to change and stop the hate ALICIA Facts, people act like just because slavery and segregation doesn’t exist anymore, that there isn’t racism still in this world LIAM (in the Brock persona) What are you talking missy don’t you know that a woman's place is in the kitchen where she is supposed to be cooking for her man, we just won over in Vietnam the least you could do is make me a goddamn sandwich ALICIA Who are you talking to, because I know damn well that you ain’t talking to me? LIAM I was talking to that one (points to Jeanette) JEANETTE (in complete and utter shock) Did you actually just say that? this is what I’m talking about societal garbage like yourself like there must be something actually mentally wrong with you VINNY There is he has- JEANETTE Stop trying to make excuses for him he’s- LIAM Hey did you not hear me I said get back in the kitchen, I’d like a sandwich on white bread with salami and provolone cheese JEANETTE Excuse me, do I look like I work at subway and furthermore if you think that I would ever do anything for you then you’re- LIAM Whoa what’s with you and the tongue today, I don’t think you remember why you're here so I’ll refresh your memory, your here for my pleasure, to carry my child, and to cook and serve me JEANETTE Oh that does it JEANETTE lunges towards LIAM and tries to attack but both are held back, JEANETTE breaks free and jumps on LIAM and then begins throwing punches as the teens try to separate the two once more, an announcement comes on and all of the teens stop and listen. VOICEOVER Attention all Hubbard students and staff we are going into an immediate lockdown due to an intruder being in the building. All of the doors have been automatically locked and police will be on their way shortly, we ask that you all stay calm and relax as we get this issue solved. We will provide updates as much as we can, please be safe. All of the teens look at each other in complete and utter terror, they all then go and sit on the chairs and there is a brief moment of silence. BIANCA Welp here we go again OLIVIA (fearfully) We’re in Lockdown, Surprisingly I didn’t see this coming ELAINA (dramatically crying) Oh my gosh we’re all gonna die (pulls out phone) and I’m not even getting a good signal right now RAY No. Why does this have to happen now? I have my biggest performance tonight in front of one hundred and fifty people at the Shawnee Playhouse. Could this day get any worse? ALICIA The one day that I actually decide to come to class, this happens! You’ve gotta be kidding me. LIAM (back to normal) did someone say lockdown, what is going on? JEANETTE Are you deaf or something you pig, didn’t you just hear the announcement LIAM What announcement? VINNY Woah Woah Woah Jeanette, Liam has multiple personalities and the one you just fought with was one of them JEANETTE Multiple personalities, what that’s an actual thing LIAM Yeah, I’m sorry for any mess that one of my personalities caused JEANETTE Apology accepted BIANCA Oh my gosh I’m so stressed, I’m literally about to pass out ALICIA I could knock you out if you’d like BIANCA and ELAINA make the “What Ever Major Loser” sign with their hands. GLORIA Don’t stress it’s not good for your aura, hey would everyone be down for a group meditation, it would relieve some of the stress and tension in here and then we all can be one with the universe TANNER I don’t wanna be one with any of you ALICIA And neither do I, you really think that I wanna be one with some knock-off Cheryl Blossom? BIANCA She’s broke I’m not by the way and too bad you don’t have a choice, Gloria please start us off if you will GLORIA Okay everyone close your eyes take a deep breath in and relax The teens all do except for TANNER who gets up from his chair and sneaks to the back. BIANCA (meditating) Money…. Gucci…. Chanel… ELAINA (complaining) ugh I literally don’t wanna do this anymore, let’s barricade the door so I can sleep GLORIA Just relax Elaina, Okay now everyone think peaceful thoughts, breathe in (pauses for a moment) and out, think beautiful thoughts and- Just at that moment TANNER trips and falls on the floor, this leaves the teens startled with BIANCA jumping up screaming into LIAM’S arms. LIAM (in the Philip persona) oh my gosh get off of me (pushes Bianca off) I don’t know what kind of germs you people are carrying, (rushes over to bookbag and pulls out gloves and a face mask) you can never be too safe (puts both on) JEANETTE Another persona I’m assuming GLORIA Most likely, but maybe this one is a good one ALICIA No there is something wrong with him ELAINA Oh my gosh can’t we just get out I literally have not had lunch yet or even my coffee in the morning JEANETTE (angerly) I swear I cannot stand women like you ELAINA Women like me, what are you trying to say JEANETTE You’re basic, a stereotype and the type of person who drives me as a feminist insane ELAINA Oh sis are you mad just because guys actually like me and I’m not out there “fighting for my rights” ALICIA You need to be out there fighting for your rights, some guy wanted to give me attitude at the mall once and I slammed him on the floor Because I refuse to be disrespected. BIANCA Facts sis is just mad because she doesn’t know how to be a real woman like us ALICIA Oh if your such a real woman then why don’t you take a beating like one sis? JEANETTE Exactly they prove my point, you just sit around and take what you’re given but unlike you, I’m not like most girls I don’t take what I’m given I fight for more and more ELAINA That’s a lot of work no thank you JEANETTE So you're okay just always coming second to men ELAINA I really don’t care, there’s only one thing I care about in this world JEANETTE And what is that ELAINA Money sis ALICIA Okay, and do you even have any? I mean like look at the way you dress JEANETTE Elaina you do realize that women are still coming second to men in- ELAINA To be honest I really don’t care RAY Olivia, you’re psychic. Can’t you see a way that we can get out? The teens all turn towards OLIVIA as she stands up. OLIVIA (nervously) well here’s the thing, I’m uh I’m not psychic at all There is a huge gasp from all of the teens. BIANCA What do you mean, you’ve always been psychic OLIVIA You call it psychic, I call it lucky guessing RAY But how’d you know all that stuff about me then? OLIVIA We had a class together last year but we didn’t talk because I sat on the other side of the room JEANETTE But the day before my birthday in third grade you told me that I was getting a puppy for my birthday and the next day I got a puppy, how do you call that lucky guessing OLIVIA Your parents asked my parents if the dog could stay with us for a week because they wanted to surprise you JEANETTE Oh my god my whole life is a lie LIAM But Olivia how did you know that I had broken my arm in sixth grade after the bike crash OLIVIA You were crying like crazy and your arm was bent in a really funny way so I just assumed MALCOLM Okay but explain how you knew that the patriots were gonna win that Superbowl match against the Rams? OLIVIA Ehh they were the underdog in the match I just thought it’d be interesting to see if they could pull off the victory VINNY Hey maybe she’s a time traveler OLIVIA If I had those powers I wouldn’t be here right now VINNY I don’t know I’m gonna keep my eye on you OLIVIA Listen, I really am sorry it just started off as something fun but then when I learned that I could make a profit off of it it just turned into an obsession and it basically became my job GLORIA (Stands Up) Okay, guys, I have something to admit too, I really just got in touch with the universe to escape the stress of high school, I didn’t think anything of it at first but then suddenly I was able to just read people instantly, it was a miracle and now I embrace my power. ELAINA (Freaking Out) Oh no are we starting to admit to all the things we’ve done wrong in hopes that the lord might have mercy on our souls, man we really are gonna die TANNER is in the back of the class with an evil grin on his face, watching the other teens TANNER This is amazing everything is falling into place BIANCA What are you talking about freak? TANNER You’ll all see in time VINNY (Stands Up On Chair) I, I, I had so many hopes and dreams, I wanted to expose the united states government for what it truly is, a bias unjust and unfair place where the house always wins no matter what. I wanted to show the world that it may seem like we have the freedom to know what’s going on in this world but we don’t they still have a huge blindfold over all of our eyes when it comes to the point of what really happens. I just wish that I didn’t have the go out like this, without a way to fight back and show the world what I know VINNY sits back down in a saddening way with tears in the corner of his eyes but he quickly wipes them not letting a single drop come out of his eye, ELAINA gets up and approaches VINNY. ELAINA And there is still time to do that, we still have a chance of making it out of here alive RAY You know I wanted to become one of the most famous musicians who was also blind, I wanted to inspire others in the blind community to go and pursue their dreams and to not let their disability hold them back. ELAINA Guys stop saying I wanted to, look we’re all still alive why don’t we work together and try and find a way to safety, there has to be some way out of here OLIVIA No there isn’t,they said the doors are locked,there’s nothing we can do RAY But what she is saying is that we can at least try. JEANETTE now stands up with her fist clenched and she looks like she is ready to give an empowering speech, the spotlight shines on her. JEANETTE I had so many things I wanted to do throughout my life,(Walks to the center of the stage) I wanted to become the first female president of the united states. I wanted to show every woman big and tall, thick and thin, that they can do anything they want if they put their minds to it. I wanted to show the children of the world that they’d have the opportunities to be treated equal and have the same opportunities and pay no matter their gender, race, religion or sexuality. I wanted to change the world for the better but I guess I can’t I guess I’ll just be nothing but (breaks down in tears) another statistic ELAINA (crying) Guys, please stop like we’re still alive right now let’s stop talking about what we wanted to do and let’s try and stay positive like there has to be a way out somehow MALCOLM Elaina’s right guys, I mean are we really gonna sit around here and just mope around, we just need to stay positive BIANCA So what you didn’t wanna do anything with your life, did you really just wanna sit around here and become a nobody ALICIA There you go again constantly running your mouth, maybe he does have stuff he wanted to do with his life and he was about to say it but then you cut him off like usual MALCOLM No, I had a lot that I wanted to do like (begins twitching hand) like (starts staring straight ahead) like- MALCOLM falls to the floor and begins having a seizure, The Teens rush over to help him. ELAINA (crying) Oh my god what’s going on OLIVIA He’s having a seizure LIAM (in the Philip persona) oh my god, a seizure, (grabs mask) is it contagious? RAY Turn him on his side. The teens turn towards RAY. JEANETTE What why would we do that RAY It helps keep his airway clear: it’ll make the seizure stop. BIANCA Hurry someone turn him on his side OLIVIA turns him on his side and slowly MALCOLM seizure stops, and then he comes back to reality. MALCOLM (sits up) what, what, what happened ALICIA You had a seizure MALCOLM (In a questioning manner) I did ELAINA Yeah, I was so stressed out I literally thought that you were gonna die LIAM walks over to MALCOLM with a bottle of hand sanitizer. LIAM You need to put this on (squirts hand sanitizer in Malcolm’s hand) I don’t know if seizures are contagious or not but we’re not taking any chances VINNY Good call There is now another announcement, The Teens all turn in fear to hear what has to be said. VOICEOVER Attention students I am deeply saddened to inform you that the police have been blocked from entering the school so at this time I suggest that everyone begin barricading the doors and- The announcement is cut short and the teens are startled all except for TANNER. TANNER (eerily) You’re all gonna pay today VINNY What did you just say TANNER I said that not a single person will leave this room alive and that’s just the facts JEANETTE You're absolutely disgusting LIAM You guys don’t think that- VINNY Tanner is the intruder ALICIA Yo, this kid is freaking me out, I’m about to start swinging! OLIVIA Gloria read his aura quick! GLORIA (closes eyes and then make a worried face) Oh no his aura is, absolutely horrible it’s almost, like, he’s the devil reincarnated The rest of the teens turn and look scared at TANNER. MALCOLM Tanner, what class did you just come from? you were the last one to come to class, in fact, you came just minutes before the announcement went off TANNER It doesn’t matter what class I was just in, in fact, it is absolutely none of your business VINNY Tanner, you need to tell all of us where you were last period or we can detain you, and just so you know I’m a black belt in karate TANNER If you really think I’m scared of you, you’d have another thing coming JEANETTE (enraged) Oh so would you prefer me to leave my handprint on your face again TANNER Touch me and I’ll put you out of your misery in a short few seconds There is a moment of intensity with everyone staring down TANNER but then OLIVIA tries to reason with him. OLIVIA Wait guys let’s calm down and let’s give Tanner the chance if he will explain why he’s doing this BIANCA Objection why should we let that freak talk, let’s just knock him out and get out of here ALICIA You know for the first time in my life I actually agree with you Bianca The two smile at each other. OLIVIA Overruled, Tanner if you would, please tell us what’s going on ELAINA Wait no he can tell the cops that, Tanner you need to tell us how we get out of here now because unlike yourself I wanna make it to tomorrow TANNER Why should I explain myself, so that you can reason with me, feel sympathy for me? Every single one of you is disgusting and all of you have wronged me in one way or another. Vinny in second grade you spilled glue in my hair and I didn’t tell anyone and then I had to shave half of my hair off making me look like a freak VINNY Tanner that was second grade how could you- TANNER I don’t wanna hear your explanation, Liam your so-called multiple personalities have publicly embarrassed me on more than one occasion, you sprayed me with Febreze because you said I stunk, you punched me because I was “too soft”, you threatened me because I talked back to you shall I go on LIAM Tanner, I don’t know if you know this but I have Dissociative identity disorder which is also known as Multiple personality disorder, it’s not my fault I cannot control it TANNER Excuses, Excuses Bianca you called me out on the first day of freshman year for wearing “poor people clothes” do you know that only up until recently people have still been taunting me with that phrase and Alicia you punched me square in the face on the first day of freshman year because I “disrespected you” ALICIA You were talking back and so I had to put you in your place BIANCA Yeah and that’s honestly not my problem Tanner, maybe you should learn how to dress. But don’t worry I’m sure you’ll look lovely in orange or white or black in prison TANNER And I’m sure you’ll look lovely on your obituary card BIANCA Drop dead TANNER Olivia last year you gave me a reading in front of a large crowd you said that I was gonna be a nobody and make it nowhere in life, well it’s only funny now because you’ve been proven to be a fake and the thing is I will be someone, the sole survivor of this classroom RAY Please don’t kill me. I swear I won’t say a single thing, I have a chance to go tonight to fulfill my dreams. TANNER (in a mocking manner) close your eyes, shut your mouth, dream a dream and get us out, dream, dream, dream, dream, dream, dream (laughs) OLIVIA Disgusting, your absolutely disgusting I hope you know that, but don’t worry we’ll just detain you until the cops get here TANNER Oh I’d love to see any of you stop me, you see while I may be evil, I am not the one to take credit for this, in fact, I’ll be leaving now to let the rest of you figure out who the true intruder is TANNER goes to run out but he is knocked out by a running forearm from MALCOLM. TANNER falls to the floor and looks to be knocked out cold as MALCOLM stands over top of him and he looks nervous. BIANCA Oh my gosh thank you, finally someone with some actual sense in this class LIAM (In the Joe Persona) Yea man that was absolutely sick, hey we may need a guy like you in the mafia MALCOLM Uhh.. guys VINNY Uh yes MALCOLM I… I uh, I have something to admit OLIVIA Like what BIANCA Oh please do tell, and try not to stutter this time MALCOLM There is (he pauses) no intruder The Teens all gasp. ALICIA What do you mean there’s no intruder? JEANETTE But we all heard the announcement, what do you mean there is no intruder RAY Yeah the announcement said as clear as day “there is an intruder in the building” MALCOLM I… I set it up VINNY (Jump up) Ah ha I knew it, I knew you were working with the government, c’mon guys lets get him MALCOLM Wait wait wait, I can explain everything ELAINA It better be a good explanation, do you know how stressed I was, I nearly had a stroke MALCOLM It was a social experiment that I set up JEANETTE A social experiment, you didn’t even get my consent MALCOLM Actually, I did, you see when you got put into this class, you had to sign that little sheet remember ALICIA That was forever ago, do you know how many things I sign a day, that must have been forever ago ELAINA Yeah I can’t even remember what I ate for dinner last night LIAM (In the Arnold Persona) Forever ago, say little missy are you trying to talk about my age BIANCA Nobody was talking about you, your irrelevant VINNY Can everyone just shut up and let Malcolm explain himself MALCOLM Okay, this all started a few months ago when I was starting to tally up costs for college and the University of Pennsylvania comes in at almost 50,000 dollars and money doesn’t grow on trees. So I started to think of how I could get a full ride or just a scholarship and then it came to me what if I did the most unthinkable social experiment that no one else would dare try. So I started a petition to get this class added to the school and I got all of your signatures and got Mrs. Churchill on board to teach it and the school allowed it. Tanner overheard once when I was talking to my friend on the phone in the bathroom so that’s why I just knocked him out so that he wouldn’t mess it up, but I guess it’s too late. OLIVIA But why us, why were we the “lucky nine” that you chose MALCOLM You were the ones that I chose because you all are unique in your own little way and I thought it would be amazing to see how all of you would react with each other locked in a classroom during what they thought was a lockdown drill, (points to camera in the back) you see I’ve been recording the whole time and I’m gonna take this footage to the colleges and see what offers they’ll give me for my results GLORIA But then how did you know me, we’ve never met or even talked before today MALCOLM Well let’s just say that you stick out among others, and I may or may not have seen a video of you fighting with a girl over her wearing a fur coat GLORIA But what was I supposed to do just sit down and be okay with the fact that she’s wearing a precious on her back MALCOLM But that’s a good thing, you know why because you’re passionate and your not afraid to speak your mind or express your views, exactly what I needed GLORIA goes to the back and begins to meditate again as TANNER sits up and looks around. TANNER See what did I say, It wasn’t me. Now if you’ll all excuse me TANNER then gets up and exits the room. BIANCA Well then it’s obvious why you chose me to be in your experiment, just look at me, there is not another woman in this building that can compete with God’s greatest creation (flips hair) am I right? MALCOLM That’s not why I chose you, you always cause problems and you sorta remind me of Regina George from Mean Girls so BIANCA Whoa, whoa, whoa stop it right there now, first off how dare you compare me to a fictional peasant, I am a queen and I’ll have you know that- MALCOLM Just shut it if you want, you can leave now BIANCA You don’t tell me when I can leave, that’s up to me VINNY Walks over towards MALCOLM and BIANCA. VINNY Before I decide to make my departure, you’re sure that the government had absolutely nothing to do with this “experiment” MALCOLM Yes, I’m sure Vinny why would- VINNY Okay, now to go dig up some more dirt on the government and expose them for what they really are. (look at Malcolm and Bianca) Sorry but I gotta blast ALICIA (grabbing Vinny’s arm) Wait VINNY Wait for what? ALICIA I’m coming with you VINNY Why? You always say that my theories are stupid ALICIA I mean they are but, you said the government is after you and everything so I was thinking that maybe you’d like some protection? VINNY Like a bodyguard? ALICIA Yeah only I could be your bodyguard, I am undefeated in fighting ya know VINNY Undefeated! Amazing it’s a deal! VINNY grabs ALICIA’S arm and the two-run offstage. JEANETTE walks over and LIAM follows behind her. JEANETTE I’ll have you know that you will be hearing from my lawyers very, very soon and- LIAM taps on JEANETTE’S Shoulder. JEANETTE What do you want LIAM Well here’s the thing, I feel absolutely awful for what may have happened between you and whichever one of my personalities and I’d uh, I’d like to make it up to you JEANETTE And how would you do that LIAM By taking you out to dinner, let’s say Texas Roadhouse? JEANETTE (With a big smile) Texas Roadhouse, that’s my favorite restaurant, I especially love the buns with the cinnamon butter and- LIAM So it’s a date? (puts hand out) JEANETTE Yes it’s a date (takes hand) JEANETTE and LIAM exit holding hands and smiling. ELAINA Bianca let’s go, I don’t know why we’re even still sitting in here BIANCA But don’t you wanna know why he chose you ELAINA Sure why not, Malcolm why’d you choose me for this dumb experiment MALCOLM (laughs) Because you’re overdramatic ELAINA (overdramatically) Me overdramatic? MALCOLM Yes watch this MALCOLM lightly pushes ELAINA’S Shoulder and she throws herself back to the floor. MALCOLM My point is proven ELAINA Bianca, help me up and let’s get out of here BIANCA An excellent idea, I’ve been around too many peasants for too long BIANCA helps ELAINA up and then the two exit. OLIVER walks over to GLORIA who is still meditating, he taps her to get her attention. OLIVIA Hey, I know we may have gotten off on the wrong foot but I was wondering if you wanted to go and take a walk with me or get a mani-pedi or something? GLORIA And why would I do that? OLIVIA Oh I don’t know maybe you could teach me about reading auras and stuff GLORIA This is about you making more money isn’t it OLIVIA How’d you know, are you psychic GLORIA No, but I can tell when someone is about to offer me something OLIVIA But I’m not offering you anything thing am I? GLORIA Yes, you want me to go into business with you, do you not OLIVIA Yes!! C’mon it’ll be perfect Imma psychic, you read auras I mean we could make some serious bank! GLORIA Yes we could and I’ll accept your offer only if 15% of all of our profits goes to charity OLIVIA 15% have you lost your mind GLORIA Fine 10% but I’m not going any lower, do we have a deal or not (Puts out a hand to shake) OLIVIA Oh boy do we (shakes Gloria’s hand) OLIVER and GLORIA exit as MALCOLM turns to RAY. MALCOLM They all do realize that it’s only sixth period RAY Probably not MALCOLM Welp Ray, I guess it’s just you and me left RAY Yeah, do you think that you could take me down to the office so I can see where Miss Carla is? MALCOLM Yeah I sure can buddy MALCOLM helps RAY to the door and before they exit MALCOLM turns towards the classroom. MALCOLM Man I really hope this gets me a scholarship, that or life in prison THE END.

The concept is very wild and I don't believe the obscurity of the story paid off. It's an unclear story with no solid themes and no intriguing direction. The concept is strange but I gave it 'Fair' because it is indeed a creative idea. However, just because it's creative does not mean it's good. The concept of a clown on his way to a child's birthday party could be very interesting, however the execution was poor and left me feeling absolutely nothing. The execution of the story is quite poor and the very few lines of action are completely drowned out by an overwhelming amount of dialogue. A screenplay is supposed to be visualized while it is read, however the writer gave very little to be visualized. There is no sense of environment and the story could have benefited from visual detail. Are we in a suburban neighborhood? Busy downtown streets? Vacant city strip? The structure of the film is well done and there is a clear beginning (Lubu meets Sammy), middle (journey to the house), and end (Sammy arriving at the birthday party). The character development is very unclear and questionable. Sammy's motivation for working as a clown sidekick for free was unexplained and a very forced and laughable idea. He clearly does not need the money as he owns a smartphone. His characterization does not explain this decision either. It is also unclear why Lubu allowed him to become his sidekick -- Sammy throwing himself to the ground is not a good enough reason. Lubu's characterization is all over the place. Is he empathetic? Rude? Generous? At one point he's insulting Sammy's wardrobe and at another point he's performing for Sammy for free while he has a child's birthday party to go to. The character development needs MAJOR work. Finally, the dialogue was very ridiculous. I was taken aback by some lines as they were very out-of-the-blue and questionable. The best kind of humor is humor that advances the plot. None of the humor in this story did that. The one-liner about homophobia was so laughable and not in a good way. The humor was also all over the place in terms of characterization; none of the jokes seemed to match the characters at all. Aside from the humor, the dialogue was uninteresting and not enough to capture my attention. Not to mention there was WAY too much of it when there should have been more focus on action rather than back-and-forth conversation.

Mister Short
Reviewed by: Abraam Dawod

The story left me extremely confused. It began on a high-note; fast-paced actions as we watch the woman clean her room. This got me intrigued to find out the reason for her apartment clean up. Keeping information from the audience was a good tool in order to built suspense. However, the cleaning dragged for much too long and more content alluding to the story's climax should have been added in between the cleaning. The woman smiling at her phone is not enough. The story's climax was incredibly confusing, unclear and disappointing. I was left wondering what the hell just happened. Is "Mister" a dog? (I'm assuming not) Is he the woman's romantic partner who is into some really kinky stuff? If so, what is the purpose of this? What is the story you're trying to tell? What I took away from the story is that there is a woman getting her apartment ready for her kinky husband's arrival. That's not much of a story. The lack of dialogue is interesting as it builds to the mystery of the story, but the climax at the end was absolutely lackluster and left me feeling absolutely nothing. Was the ending supposed to be a punchline alluding to some sort of popular culture reference? Was it supposed to be a romantic twist? Dramatic? Thrilling? Lack of character development is something I can forgive in a screenplay of only two pages, however lack of characterization is not. The main character was very uninteresting and she lost my attention after the first 10 seconds of reading. Nothing she did was interesting and she seemed like an object of sex appeal as she was nude for over half the story with no relevant action taking place. The "Mister" character was a secret kept for no good reason and I cannot stress enough how confusing the story's climax is. The story's structure is decent and it was very easy to follow. It did, however, feel like we were dropped into the middle of the story and I would have liked to see a prelude to the cleaning of the apartment. Despite this, the structure was still fluent and it had a clear middle and end. In terms of technicality, the format of the screenplay is well done except for the scene headers which should indicate whether the scene takes place inside or outside. For example: "INT. - FOYER (EVENING)". Overall, the story simply didn't matter and the confusing climax at the end didn't help whatsoever. Keep searching for inspiration and one day you'll find a story that's worthy of being told on the big screen. Keep it up.