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Graduation

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A university porter is embroiled in an investigation when a student overdoses on a legal drug.

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Drama | 1 Reviews | 85 pages | 4 months ago | Draft 1

Summary

Looking for general feedback on the premise, structure, pacing and dialogue.

Reviews

embroiled in an investigation when a student overdoses on a legal drug.

The initial pacing felt slow to me. Jordan starts on the hunt for a parcel. Whatever is in the package are important, but not important enough to enlist the porter's assistance to find out who it has it by mistake. When Jordan arrives at Daniel's flat, the script says Daniel knows Jordan, but the dialogue nor body language didn't show me that visually. Throughout the hunt...

2 months ago | read more...

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