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Inner City Blues

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Trying his best to not get swallowed up by the streets of Southside Jamaica, Queens, Trey maneuvers through the standard baby momma drama, systemic racism and socio-economic disenfranchisement that his hood brings, but little does he know that this is the last day of his life.

Approved
Nominee
Draft #3
Winner
Draft #2
Nominee
Draft #1
Peer Rating: N/A
Industry Rating: N/A
Drama,Crime | 0 Reviews | 103 pages | 1 month ago | Draft 4

Summary

On the last day of his life, Trey maneuvers through the socio-economics, systemic racism, and hood politics of living (and dying) in Southside Jamaica, Queens.

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Being that this script was written over 2 years ago, it saddens me that the term #BlackLivesMatter has to still be put out there. On the flip side, it gives me all the reason to continue writing and telling these stories.

A culmination of my own experiences and stories that I've collected in my life growing up in Southside Jamaica, Queens, and sprinkles of my favorite hood classics. This script began as an homage to one of my favorite films, Spike Lee's "Do The Right Thing", but ended up becoming a very personal cathartic experience.

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Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

Concept: Not good. A community haunted by drug addition, poverty or crime isn't something new to anyone. There are a few good movies that are based on the same concept, but things are a lot more intense than this. If you are going to write about a rough community, make it really rough. Otherwise it will appear like a documentation of reality and not a story meant to be a movie. Also set Trey's troubles to a higher level. He doesn't seem up aga...

2 weeks ago | read more...
I hope you won't consider this a waste of your points. I have reviewed this script before and everything I wrote here before still holds. Concept, story, dialogue, structure, actions, beginning, ending. They are good.
But now, it is definitely better.

2 weeks ago | read more...
Chukwuma Amobi Top Reviewer
no doubt it's a good story. it would be better to make it a bit intrigued at the beginning.

2 weeks ago | read more...
SOUTHSIDE is a gripping and powerful reflection of the continuous trials and hardships that most minorities (specifically, African-Americans) in a poverty-stricken, “projects, “ in America, both past and present, face on a daily basis. Highlighting police brutality and corruption as its central theme, while creating a realistic world that isn’t sugar-coated; Southside depicts a raw depiction of what thug-life, the life of many who live in the pr...

2 weeks ago | read more...
MARC LAW Top Reviewer
the concept is really strong there is a clear idea of the story and sets up is well done.
We immediately get into the story thanks to the flashback early in the story. But without the flashback, the story drags a little bit just the fact that he goes to work already takes 15 to 20 pages.
In term of the scenes, I had a hard time with the intercut, it was very confusing as it hard to focus on two locations at the same time when reading. It's t...

2 weeks ago | read more...
Spadozor Top Reviewer
Alright...
What a wonderful concept you have here. Original.
I must confess. The opening got me interested but the middle of the script... Not so much. Nothing was happening. The scenes were well written except all scenes in the middle of the story has a lot of chit chat. Our protagonist is interesting but not compelling enough.
Honestly, the middle dragged a bit. Nothing interesting. The beginning pacing and the ending pacing was absolutely...

2 weeks ago | read more...
Chukwuma Amobi Top Reviewer
The purpose of the script, overall, is to give the audience a harsh, but heartfelt look into life in the inner city. The main issue, is the lack of plot and substance within. Instead of getting a concrete three-act story that builds in a cohesive, dramatic fashion, the audience instead is taken through vignettes, or instances of the protagonist's day, that merely end in his sudden demise.

The writer does a solid job of creating an accurate and...

2 weeks ago | read more...
Script Mother Top Reviewer

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