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The couple Ep 3: Church

short
By i n
Drama

Going to church will save a girl's soul but not her relationship with her boyfriend.

Approved
Winner
Draft #1
Peer Rating: 77%
Industry Rating: 87%
3 Reviews | 10 pages | 2 months ago | Draft 1

Summary

Ally is dealing with sadness from her boyfriend Caden cheating on her. She goes to meeting at church and tell her friend what happened. Her friend gives her advice but Ally doesn't listen. (disclaimer for reader: louverian is not a real religion denomination)

Industry Reviews

Overall, a solid and enjoyable short script. The payoff is dark yet satisfying, and it defines your protagonist. There's very little I would suggest changing, but perhaps there are bits of dialogue that can be touched up and focused more on the character's nature rather than exposition.

3 weeks ago | read more...
Script Mother Top Reviewer

Peer Reviews

Very good script, I enjoyed the dialogue in the scene where Ally and Keli were talking about how Alley shouldn't go back to her boyfriend after he cheated on her. The ending was great as her hurt and anger led her to do what she did, and it ends on a cliffhanger making you wonder what happens next. The story was really well done and written that provides a really good concept especially with involving the church and how serious they follow and re...

2 months ago | read more...
Christian Hobdy Top Reviewer
I liked it, but felt the ending was rushed and could have had something else there to cap it so that it isn't exactly what you feel is about to happen. As it stands now, this story feels as though it will be forgotten shortly after reaching its conclusion.

Maybe AFTER that ending (don't change anything in the script) have her show back up to the church and bring him in, tied in duct tape from her trunk, and have them ACTUALLY send him to the...

2 months ago | read more...
Stuart Haag Top Reviewer

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