by David Kyle Anderson
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Create characters that live within the moment. An example, you could have the Dr rush from the room after Jessica is pulled off him, go to his office, and slam the door. He could literally pace, and look at different patient charts, disgusted by each and every one. Tossing them as if "why the hell do I bother?" He could sink into his leather chair and ponder. Let the actors act, and the director direct. You're doing their job in telling the story. Which is 180 degrees from what you should be doing. Good Luck in the future with this.
Overall, Dipped and Died was a solid read for a sci-fi script in my opinion. The only things I would focus on is giving your story a tad bit more originality to make it stand out better as well as re-reading over the dialogue a bit more. Other than that, this script was fairly good!
Ok, so this definitely one of the best first drafts I've read. It is really good. I think if you take all the criticism you gain, this will turn out to be a perfect script. I think for me one of the best things about this script is that it actually SHOWS and doesn't TELL. I've noticed that problem in so many first drafts, so it's nice to see a writer that understands. I really want to see more from this script, I'm excited to see what else comes of it.
This was an easy read. You might want to have someone proof read it. There were some grammatical and punctuation errors. It could use a nice polishing. You must have worked extremely hard on this script. It could be made into a very good movie. I wish you the best of luck with it.