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Batman Amethyst feature

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#History #Family #Crime

By Adam Davis

a film for your amusement

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Summary

1 Reviews | 27 pages | 2 years ago | Draft 1
Jack Napier owns a vineyard in the outskirts of Gotham City, when he finds out there could be deep amethyst crystal mines under his property he asks family friend Bruce Wayne to help fund the excavation when he refuses, things go horribly wrong.

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There are too many exposition dumps.
Overall, this story needs to reduce telling and paint a more vivid picture in the reader's mind. I might be wrong, but there's always room for improvement. You're almost halfway there, and I believe the story's quality will rise when you remove the exposition dumps and fix the philosophical conflict.

SCORE BREAKDOWN:

A. Based on the fundamental elements:

Concept: Poor
Story: Fair
Structure: Poor
Character development: Fair
Dialogue:...
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