Jack Napier owns a vineyard in the outskirts of Gotham City, when he finds out there could be deep amethyst crystal mines under his property he asks family friend Bruce Wayne to help fund the excavation when he refuses, things go horribly wrong.
Overall, this story needs to reduce telling and paint a more vivid picture in the reader's mind. I might be wrong, but there's always room for improvement. You're almost halfway there, and I believe the story's quality will rise when you remove the exposition dumps and fix the philosophical conflict.
SCORE BREAKDOWN:
A. Based on the fundamental elements:
Concept: Poor
Story: Fair
Structure: Poor
Character development: Fair
Dialogue:...
A wealthy Spanish family fights to preserve Spain then supports an independent Mexico and finally defeats Santa Anna at San Jacinto in order to protect their lands, property and legacy.
A young German boy falls in love with a Jewish girl amidst a thriving swing culture and the impending Second World War that threatens to throw them apart.
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