Jack Napier owns a vineyard in the outskirts of Gotham City, when he finds out there could be deep amethyst crystal mines under his property he asks family friend Bruce Wayne to help fund the excavation when he refuses, things go horribly wrong.
Overall, this story needs to reduce telling and paint a more vivid picture in the reader's mind. I might be wrong, but there's always room for improvement. You're almost halfway there, and I believe the story's quality will rise when you remove the exposition dumps and fix the philosophical conflict.
SCORE BREAKDOWN:
A. Based on the fundamental elements:
Concept: Poor
Story: Fair
Structure: Poor
Character development: Fair
Dialogue:...
Under British-ruled Ireland, Irish Catholic servant Reanna O’Neil is forced to flee for her life when, in self-defense, she kills her attacker, a British noble. His son-in-law, hot on her heels and out for blood, will stop at nothing to “Make the Irish slattern pay!”.
In the 16th century African State of Dande, a zealous young warrior must learn to work with a sworn enemy if he is to prevent the demise of his people.
A Spanish Don is sent to eighteenth-century San Antonio to construct the Missions. He must overcome the wilderness and Comanche to reunite with his fiancee and establish his family's legacy.
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