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FENIX 2132 feature

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#Sci-Fi/Fantasy

After an influx of refugees leads to a viral epidemic, it's up to one boy who has hidden himself to save everyone in a future utopian city.

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Nominee Draft #1

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0 Reviews | 112 pages | 6 years ago | Draft 2

District 9 meets Children of Men.

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When writing, cut down the words. Too much. you do not have to describe everything to the top. Limit the words.

Never write a script like a novel. When I write my books I write them with details, but in a script no. You lose the reader and audience. Nobody wants a long drawn script. If Jack is coming in the house, just say that. No need to put that Jack went passed a sofa or almost fell. Get to the details .

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forevergone

The blood of a young boy may be the cure to a devastating disease that threatens the future African city of Sanctuary.

The chase scene across the savannah was a great hook. Who is the boy running from? Why are they chasing him? The fact that the pursuers are in a hovercraft told me this is a Syfy future story. The switch to AKUJI, WIFE, SON, and DAUGHTER was a nice transition until on page 2 Ayo, the boy was inserted into the story suddenly. I wondered why it was flowing smoothly until that moment. Is this the boy from the beginning of the story or the son of Aku...

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mike harper

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