EQUAL short
#Drama #Mystery/Suspense
When one man with inferiority complex comes face to face with life.
Awards
Approved
Winner Draft #1
Summary
1 Reviews |
12 pages |
4 years ago
|
Draft 2
A short story about lower class person dealing with his life problems and than realizes something different.
Industry Reviews
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Peer Reviews
The main issue is grammar. I would go through the entire script and fix all of the grammatical errors first, then perhaps rewrite another version of the script with more dramatic dialogue and focus on building Sunny up, then tearing him down at the end.
Top Reviewer
There are numerous problems in every aspect of screenwriting throughout.
You begin on a VO without a character. Since the "Title appears: EQUAL" comes after the VO, there are no visuals. We'd be watching nothing, while listening to someone speak. Filmmaking is a visual medium.
From your grammar, English is not your first language. You misuse words, and your sentences are not structured properly. "we assume the class of them" is incorrect....
Top Reviewer
