Awards
Approved
Summary
2 Reviews |
30 pages |
2 years ago
|
Draft 1
A group of friends, Ronald, Alex, Sarah, Jason, and Lily, gather in a schoolroom. They engage in casual conversations, expressing their disinterest in playing football and their dislike for another friend, Nate. As they decide on playing various games like poker, hide and seek, and volleyball, tensions rise when Nate joins them, revealing their true feelings toward him. They eventually settle on playing poker, and Ronald emerges as the winner, further fueling their disdain for Nate. The friends then transition to playing volleyball, but the game abruptly ends when Nate's lifeless body falls from the ceiling. Shocked and unsure of what to do, they contemplate hiding the body or seeking help...
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Peer Reviews
simple concept, funny, interesting, weird. I would watch all the way through i think. Executed perfectly. Curious if you were invoking Wes Anderson or if its just me. I think you could not have done a better job for what it is. That said its not going to be everyone's cup of tea. Excellent job!
Top Reviewer
Plot needs direction and tightening. Dialogue needs to advance the plot.
Top Reviewer
