True Souce Episode One "Source" television
#Sci-Fi/Fantasy #Action/Adventure
A teenage boy from Chicago with a heavy interest in the occult, uses a long lost equation that sends him to the 4th Dimension granting him the ability to move through space and time..
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Summary
1 Reviews |
21 pages |
2 years ago
|
Draft 2
Ronnie and Annabelle Jackson are half siblings living in Chicago each with a troubled past. Ronnie a cat burglar for the crips and Annabelle on the run from her father's secret society. Both knowing how to do Magick to make things easier. During a burglary Ronnie finds a mysterious book that contains a equation to open a portal. Meanwhile Annabelle is going to confront her Father's Organization i
on her own... Ronnie is sucked into vortex sending him to the 4th Dimension where he meets Seymour Indiana who warns Ronnie about a Enitiy called Zuf who wants to merge all dimensions being the king of all... Annabelle uses spells to foil Ricky the new leader of her father's organization that's trying to kill her... Ronnie learns how to travel through space and time trying to stop Zuf from messing up history... Annabelle discovers that she is clairvoyant able to walk through dreams... Nothing will be the same after a final confrontation with Ronnie and Annabelle that puts them up against Zuf and Ricky that ends with the 3rd and 4th Dimensions merging...
on her own... Ronnie is sucked into vortex sending him to the 4th Dimension where he meets Seymour Indiana who warns Ronnie about a Enitiy called Zuf who wants to merge all dimensions being the king of all... Annabelle uses spells to foil Ricky the new leader of her father's organization that's trying to kill her... Ronnie learns how to travel through space and time trying to stop Zuf from messing up history... Annabelle discovers that she is clairvoyant able to walk through dreams... Nothing will be the same after a final confrontation with Ronnie and Annabelle that puts them up against Zuf and Ricky that ends with the 3rd and 4th Dimensions merging...
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Peer Reviews
Interesting Concept.
Your action lines were visual. They advanced the plot. For the most part, they were not too wordy. My only suggestion would be to delete some of the clothing descriptions. Usually, clothing is only mentioned when it is integral to the plot. For instance, a character is wearing a specific piece of clothing during a murder and later that clothing is pivotal to them being convicted of the crime. The decision on dressing a ch...
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