Awards
Approved
Nominee Draft #1
Summary
2 Reviews |
5 pages |
6 years ago
|
Draft 1
Fay and Jack (both in their 70s) lead isolated lives on a desolate and unproductive farm.
Fay does some serious cleaning up of the house, causing Jack to question what is going on.
Fay proudly announces that a family member is coming to visit, her sister, Mary.
Dinner ends up in a confrontational situation as unresolved issues from their past are discussed.
Fay does some serious cleaning up of the house, causing Jack to question what is going on.
Fay proudly announces that a family member is coming to visit, her sister, Mary.
Dinner ends up in a confrontational situation as unresolved issues from their past are discussed.
Industry Reviews
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Peer Reviews
I'll address each of the category's accordingly.
Concept:
The concept is interesting but it doesn't seem to have any pay off, or any underlying message or theme. I would recommend you expand perhaps on the concept and see what else comes out of it.
Story:
Okay, I'm going to talk a bit about story and structure of the story together. There is nothing evidently clear that the characters want, or need, and this makes for a shallow story...
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