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Black Butterflies feature

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#Drama

By Karen Hardinn

A secret society of black women gets infiltrated.

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Winner Draft #1

Summary

2 Reviews | 120 pages | 7 years ago | Draft 1
When a corporate climber lies about her affiliation to a secret society in order to get her dream job she has no idea the nightmare she is about to embark upon.

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Peer Reviews

Vivian infiltrates a secret society with hopes of climbing up the social ladder, but little does she know of the grander plans behind the societies secrecy.
- Is the Concept strong/original?
The concept is strong and pretty original.

- Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader?
It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself.

- Are scenes well-written?
They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamles...
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Top Reviewer
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Sneaking into a secret society has consequences.
Vivian closes the Manual. She grabs the String of Pearls off the table and puts them in her pocket. Clinching the Manual close to her chest, she quietly exits. (are the words String, Pearls, Manual intentionally capitalized?
I would recommend verifying line spacing. It may be a convert to PDF error but double-check just in case. I noticed the spacing was tight on page 9.
"INT. JOSELYN'S GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE - FOYER -- CONTINUOUS
Vivian walks do...
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