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#Drama #Action/Adventure #Romance

How does a troubled, bullied kid from a rough neighborhood reach the top of mixed martial arts?

Awards

Approved
Winner Draft #1

Summary

2 Reviews | 87 pages | 1 year ago | Draft 1
Tony Ramirez is a kid who is bullied in school and abused by his mother. He tries to protect his little brother Jake. He starts mixed martial arts to protect himself but discovers that he has a talent in fighting. After his childhood friend and crush Natalie commits suicide he fully dedicates himself to fighting at the highest level. He becomes famous as a ferocious and bloody fighter who never gives up no matter what. He wins the title but gets suspended after starting a brawl with the opponents team. After returning to competition facing his greatest challenge, an undefeated opponent regarded as untouchable, he puts him to his limits and makes him bleed for the first time. He goes down and gives up for the first time. Not because he can't continue but because he finally realizes all the reasons why he doesn't have to.

Industry Reviews


overall, you have all the elements to make a great script. I would focus on using less dialogue to get your story across, but also re-structure your story and characters to make your script more of a journey filled with adversity we can see and feel, rather than just hear about through the characters

Peer Reviews

The story is cliched, all the tropes we've seen before in modern day biopics. The main character is interesting however, so just try to focus more on telling an actual story ABOUT him instead of telling THE story of him. I recommend watching these two films: The Aviator and Moonlight. This script isn't biographical (at least I don't think so) so Moonlight works best, but Aviator will also help you in the long run, and the lesson to take from them...

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