I'll just go over my thoughts in chronological order as I read your script. (I enjoyed it by the way)
1ST PAGE
- Good character intro and description, immediately paints a clear first impression of who Darius is
- Intriguing situation to start off in, following a trail, searching for a phone… (his own maybe ?)
- (OS), Offscreen or over the shoulder? It’s just a detail but the formatting is wrong, not very clear
- The segment where Darius...
In the heart of Boston’s neon night life, a drag queen and a newcomer share a brief, intimate conversation over coffee—a chance encounter that leaves both of them quietly changed.
a young book lover, visits their favorite library and unknowingly gives a quarter to the ferryman. The library's books soon reveal Francis's deepest fears, trapping them in a sinister labyrinth, a nightmarish maze.
Britney’s sexually abused by her mother's boyfriend and tells John and they decide to punish Ben, but Ben dies, Britney’s now prosecuted for two murders and John can’t be found.
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