Awards
Approved
Nominee Draft #1
Summary
2 Reviews |
10 pages |
3 years ago
|
Draft 1
John keeps dreaming of this creature that he can't seem to get out of his mind. One day at a coffee shop, he sees Carol, and his dreams and life change. He happens to run into Carol, resulting in them blossoming into a relationship. But as secrets emerge, Carol holds on to the one she should tell John.
Industry Reviews
No Industry Reviews
Peer Reviews
Work on really outlining what your story is maybe expand the script to longer than 10 pages, remove any unnecessary bulk and improve your characters. Also I highly recommend you invest in a better screenwriting software and check your spelling and grammar mistakes.
Top Reviewer
There are some interesting ideas in here and it has the makings of potentially a good love story. But the writer really needs to focus on John's character arc and develop Carol's illness a bit more. The ending falls completely flat because of those two aspects.
The writer also needs to give John and Carol more to do together. A couple casual dates does not equal a strong relationship. The marriage proposal comes quick and out of nowhere becau...
Top Reviewer
