FROST feature
#Horror #Mystery/Suspense
By
Dev
Bara
In 1922, A lonely man rides back home for Christmas on a cold dark woods. He is forced to take a diversion where he meets a woman who maybe not what she says.
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Summary
1 Reviews |
81 pages |
3 years ago
|
Draft 1
Robert is seeded with a doubt of witchcraft in one of his hunt trip. He needs to ride back home to his wife for Christmas with a gift from his hunt. After a smooth start he is forced to take a diversion due to some horrific accident on a bridge.
Robert takes the rumored Witch trail, where he meets a young woman who needs a lift. He doubts that the girl might be a Witch. He helps her anyway and is invited to her house for a dinner as a thanks. There Robert loses his mind over what is real and what is not. And with each hour, he grows wild with uncertainty, finally completely going crazy.
Robert takes the rumored Witch trail, where he meets a young woman who needs a lift. He doubts that the girl might be a Witch. He helps her anyway and is invited to her house for a dinner as a thanks. There Robert loses his mind over what is real and what is not. And with each hour, he grows wild with uncertainty, finally completely going crazy.
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This reads like a novel, yet it is supposed to be a screenplay. The main culprit here in the review is your action lines. Action lines should be quick and precise. Instead of a bunch of sentences about a wintery night, simplify it. For example:
EXT. FOREST - NIGHT
Snow covers the ground under a full moon.
That's it.
The only things that should be us what is SEEN and HEARD. There should be no thoughts, smells, or taste. And let the actors and...
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