Writing a violent musical is definitely original. However what I am guessing is using a parody song in the beginning, takes away from horror drama genre and steps into comedy. Unless that is your intention. The characters obviously need more development. Their dialogue at times seems exploitive and on the nose a few times, especially when they are signing up for the play and then telling their families about it, even when the audience or reader already knows. It is also hard to figure out everyone's relation to one another and then adding in more and more characters on top of it. And Jone of them really jump out at me let alone stand apart other than teen horror movie tropes. Personally I think trying to build the characters will help in the long run and makes them more complex other than future victims of the Understudy. I hope that this was helpful in any or some sort of way with this script. Good luck moving forward and on future reviews.

There is nothing that really dives your protagonists to change their mundane lives and jobs. They just decided to plan a heist from the antagonist just because he was a bad guy. There are some characters with some visual introductions as well as quirks , but that is about it. You need to develop all of your characters. Give them something to actually risk losing.his story for it to go anywhere. Because there is no real driving force, each scene does not build off of the last the way that it should. Every scene is just a scene that stands alone by itself. I am not one who likes giving bad reviews, but at the same time I feel that I have to be honest. If you choose to pursue this script, try building around your characters. You have enough of them to where a better story might develop or go in another direction that you did not anticipate. I hope that this has helped, even though the rating was not good. Good luck on the future drafts of your script.

This is a good story that can be so much better. There is a lot of work that needs to be done with this. Mostly with your structure and action lines. The core of the story should remain, but get rid of the repetitive information that is already there with science as well as dialogue. Once this is done, it should free up a lot of avenues for more character and story development. Good luck on your future drafts and reviews of your script.

I honestly do not know what to make of this. As stated before, "Searching for a Friend for the End of the World" would be something worth watching as inspiration or whatnot. If this is just a proof of concept, a whole lot of work needs to be done. Work on all of the characters and use their dialogue to develop them at the same time. Also, I do not think it needs to be exactly the page number for the number of minutes they are alive. Use more pages to develop everyone and everything around them. Or come at this in an entirely new direction. I wish I could give a better rating on this, but I cannot. Good luck on future drafts and reviews of your script.