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I hope you're young and just starting out. My suggestion would be to read some books on screenwriting and start there.
You open the script with a nice bloody murder, and then there's 30 pages of talking, no action. This is an anti script.
A few things I'll point out. You don't add color to the formatting or bizarre fonts. It reeks unprofessional.
Playwrights scripts are all dialogue. The actors are confined to the stage, and everythin...
I want to see this do better. There is a lot of work that needs to be done. Look over scripts, read blogs, watch videos, go to websites about formatting, character development, dialogue. Not to mention a good proofing of typos and such. These should hopefully help you in developing and telling your story. Good luck on your next draft and future reviews.
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