This was pretty well-written, though it kinda reads like a shooting script, though not quite. But the way the specific shots were written (the frames per second thing might go over some readers' head) made it easy to visualize, so I won't dock points for that. I went in blind, not knowing the genre, so the ending came pretty unexpectedly... which I liked a lot. It reminded me of a short called, "Spider" by Noah Edgerton (check it out). The charac...
Overall I enjoyed your story. The concept is very current and interesting. The story works as well as the character of Ken. The main problem for me was the flow. We were too often taken out of the story because of elements included in the description that shouldn't be there. We only need description or action lines, everything else takes us out of the script. For example, things like "Everyone else is at home streaming Netflix” or “Losing isn’t a...
When a small crab named Kyle loses his shell, he sets out on a whimsical and treacherous journey across the ocean floor to find the perfect replacement—only to discover that outsmarting greedy octopuses and ungrateful sharks is the price of claiming a home of his own.
When the food supply of knee munching space aliens becomes scarce because seniors are receiving modern treatments, a frail jokester granny must defeat the hungry chompers with her new physics defying superpowered knees before the aliens gorge on kids to survive.
A group of homeless people in the United States capital get abducted by young and wealth individuals with the sole purpose of having them participate in a social experiment: Eat soup with only using a large heavy silver spoon.
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