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Fall of Jessop television

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#Drama #Thriller

By Aaron Sullivan

Hidden agendas, black robes, who can make it out alive?

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Summary

2 Reviews | 28 pages | 9 months ago | Draft 1

#drama #thriller #murder #Cult #Conspiracy thriller

When a small county is invaded by unknown figures in black robes, the lives of the county will be changed forever.

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Peer Reviews

Overall, I really liked this. I cared about the characters and I'm very intrigued by what's really going on. I feel that the opening scene could go on for just a little bit longer just so you get us to really care about the characters and maybe include that flashback earlier so it's more devastating when David and Oliver are lost later. That's really the main feedback I have because I thought everything else was superb and great for a tv pilot so...

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David Rose

A promising idea that needs foundational work in formatting and character.

The script is built on a concept that has commercial viability. In order to reach that commercial viability, future drafts will have to focus on improving its structure, story, and character development. A few questions to answer are: What thematic question are you looking to answer? Who is the protagonist of this story? What flaw do they need to overcome? What stands in the way of this? Implementing the answers to these questions will raise the...

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Adam Cohen

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