SVF Reborn Again (Third Draft)
feature
Has SVF finally met his match?
Approved
Nominee
Draft #4
Draft #4
Nominee
Draft #3
Draft #3
Nominee
Draft #2
Draft #2
2 Reviews |
101 pages |
1 month ago
|
Draft 4
Summary
SCRIPT 2/3 IN SVF TRILOGY.
With villains no longer running rampant throughout the city, SVF wants to take time to live a more normal life with Veronica. However, once they thought things were starting to look up, everything takes a turn is when a night out is interrupted by Victor and Ice Reaper. Although, what first seems like a typical ambush by two baddies, the tables turn when another new menace enters the scene, and he may be more than a match for SVF.
Contains extended sequences of strong brutal bloody violence and gore throughout, pervasive language, crude sexual content and nudity, and drug use.
Industry Reviews
Peer Reviews
Is the Concept strong/original? No. I kind of stop caring when mercenaries came out of no where for no reason.
Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? No, Logline is too short. First ten pages are OK. They setup the rest of the story and doing their job.
Are scenes well-written? Some minor details on characters or settings would help. Don't go overboard.
Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Yes, very compelling. Y...
Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? No, Logline is too short. First ten pages are OK. They setup the rest of the story and doing their job.
Are scenes well-written? Some minor details on characters or settings would help. Don't go overboard.
Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Yes, very compelling. Y...
4 weeks ago
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Dale Morgan
Top Reviewer
It being a trilogy. I might have jumped the gun in the character development and overall story arc. But, reading it as a single script, a lot more can be done. The fight scenes are great. Do not touch them. The backstory into the antagonists are what need to be fixed. Once that is dealt with, it should be fine. Hopefully this review was not too bad for you. Good luck on your script.
3 weeks ago
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Michael Kibler
Top Reviewer
It reads very similar to the first one in terms of action scenes and gore violence. It is still an all out slugfest. And even the characters mention that as well.
Zombiathan was by far the most sinister, Victor with his wit and banter with everyone else in the screenplay. Ice Reaper is somewhere in between. Killing off the Mayor in the manner that it was not only got rid him, but will use his death to add more depth to SVF and Veronica.
As stat...
Zombiathan was by far the most sinister, Victor with his wit and banter with everyone else in the screenplay. Ice Reaper is somewhere in between. Killing off the Mayor in the manner that it was not only got rid him, but will use his death to add more depth to SVF and Veronica.
As stat...
4 months ago
|
read more...
Michael Kibler
Top Reviewer
I enjoyed your story. I've read some of your SVF work before, and I think the writing and dialogue have been tightened up significantly. One thing that really stuck out to me was SVF being willing to kill Zombiathan, but left VIctor and Ice Reaper alive despite them killing dozens of people. That seemed a bit weird, and I'd like to see it explained why.
You also did a good job humanizing SVF. He wants a family, and he cares for the orphans. Bu...
You also did a good job humanizing SVF. He wants a family, and he cares for the orphans. Bu...
3 months ago
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read more...
Jonathan Barbour
Top Reviewer
While assuming this screenplay is a sequel, the screenplay jumps in en media res picking up where the presumed previous entry ended. Unfortunately, this leaves the reader a bit lost, as the action lines discuss previous information unknown to the reader. One key example is that the protagonist, SVF, isn't introduced in an industry standard format, leaving the reader unsure what he looks like. Because of this set up, the reader never really ge...
9 months ago
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Chris Lutzow
Top Reviewer
Hello Cyle Brooks, nice to read you!
First of all, considering that you probably already saw the scores I gave “SVF Reborn Again” and read the verdict, I would like to address the reason why I’m being so hard. Surface level there’s little wrong with your script, you can read the script notes for specific issues I found; but the problem is that surface level is the only level at which this script can be reviewed. There is basically no depth to it...
First of all, considering that you probably already saw the scores I gave “SVF Reborn Again” and read the verdict, I would like to address the reason why I’m being so hard. Surface level there’s little wrong with your script, you can read the script notes for specific issues I found; but the problem is that surface level is the only level at which this script can be reviewed. There is basically no depth to it...
8 months ago
|
read more...
Francisco Alvarez Raineri
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