You have a script that is very difficult to read. I know I'm supposed to read the whole script but after page 18 I didn't care about the characters. Page 2: "A third unidentified voice complete with filter speaks up, female this time." I would tighten this up by just: Filtered FEMALE voice. and change "UNKNOWN VOICE #3 (V.O.)" to FEMALE VOICE (V.O.) Your writing a script that is going to be read by the lazy. Try to keep it, quick and to the point. Page 3: "A sci-fi-looking metropolis now stands where the old city once stood," How do you film this? How does the audience know that the new city is on top of the old? Try something like: A sci-fi-looking metropolis stands in the center of a burned out and rundown buildings. "this is Italian computer wizard"??? How do you film this? This is the second time I have caught this mistake. From now on it gets a NAB for NOT A BOOK. "He can feel his eyes narrow and his teeth clench." NAB "He barges into the office" Who barges in? Page 4: "Enrico nods in understanding" NAB Should be "Enrico nods" "Enrico tries to smile" NAB I don't of any actor who can "tries to smile." OPENING TITLE SEQUENCE OVER ”LAND OF CONFUSION” MONTAGE ??? What does the Montage look like? Page 11: "Mikhail tries to restrain his anger" NAB "Unknown to either one of them" NAB Page 12: "wolf-whistling" Who wolf-whistles at a picture? Page 13: "Enrico thinks it over" NAB "INT./EXT." Pick one. Page 14: shorter man Asian (in appearance) and sporting spectacles - Unnecessary. It's extra info that is obvious. this is his former mentor NAB 80s club music can be heard from afar - No, "80s club music in the background." A Latin woman is present to greet them - No, " A Latin woman greets them. You have "The two met sit before each other, drinking sake." Then later in the same page "Elena nods understandingly and replies in the affirmative in Spanish as Enrico and Satoshi sit down." - Make up your mind, are the sitting in the first page or not. Page 15: ENRICO I’m sorry, I’m not sure if I understand. - Just about Satoshi speaks in Japanese. So is Enrico responding in Japanese or English? Satoshi squeezes a Japanese stress ball - where did the ball come from? It should be in the description of Satoshi. Enrico is (clearly)-remove annoyed and (even)-remove disturbed by Satoshi’s (behavior)-remove as he downs his cup of sake in a single swig (out of sheer defiance for his former sensei. NAB)-remove. Should read: Enrico is annoyed and disturbed by Satoshi’s behaviour as he downs his cup of sake in a single swig. You have a lot of this in your script. I just picked on this one. Page 16: his former protégé NAB masking his hurt feelings. NAB

HASTINGS and LAWSON dialogs read like the same person. I would make one strong and one weak. LAWSON Wait, where the hell did you get an E-M-P? HASTINGS I’m an amateur electrician in my off-time. Where the hell do you think I got it? To LAWSON Where the FUCK did you get an E-M-P? HASTINGS I’m, I'm... My dad was electrician and I pick up a few things from him. I lost interest at page 30. It like spy does this and spy dose that. I'm not reading any emotions from the page. I'm not into the story. All the characters are the same. Like when Lawson is in the bar and has no clue how to deal with her. Hasting tries to help through a window? Huh how is that help?

Overall I'm starting to like your script. It is reading better. It flows better. You need to look at the Additional Notes. I hope you realize that all your descriptions of fight scenes will be replace if picked up by a studio with the words: "Fight Scene" :) This version has the same beats of the one I read before. It does read better but I left you a few notes on some improvements. The end of the script where the hero has the choice of saving one out of two people to save. Is a trope that has been worn out. Consider changing it.